You am what you is and I are who I be.

Sigh. Mother and I have already had a tiff at home. Why does strong-headedness tend to run in families? Drats you, genetics, you can call for stubborn women living in houses together.

There was a message on the machine that I missed a dentist appointment by an hour, which would have been impossible to make given we're just home anyway. This is also an appointment I didn't know about, presumably because my mother set it up without me. I am no longer used to such occurrences given I've been living on my own in England, where for the most part I figure things out for myself.

I was thus displeased when she came stomping up the stairs, phone to her ear, demanding I go to an appointment at four-something. I try to say no. She pushes. I tell her I'm exhausted, have travelled all day and am disgusted, and would prefer not to leave the house until at least two of those feel remedied.

She continues her pressing. At last I holler that I'm not interested in taking the old-people hip replacement pills so that I can GO to the stupid dentist's to get my teeth cleaned, since then I'll feel pretty ick all day and everything will be unenjoyable. She went rigid and white and admitted she had forgotten all about the pills I have to take before the dentist so that plague bacteria doesn't come attack my artificial joint.

As she's walking to the loo to look for the meds she's telling the secretary on the other line, 'Oh she's in such a bad mood! She just stops sleeping in the summer and wakes up so late and ends up in such terrible moods...' it went on and on. I groaned and shouted from the kitchen, "Mother PLEASE! I can HEAR you! It's not the lack of sleep, it's general frustration!" I thought it was incredibly rude to be talking into the ear of a SECRETARY at a respectable office of some form of medical work about one's daughter who has been gone half a year and has a legitimate reason to be a bit ruffled.

So I'm set for an appointment now Wednesday at 2.40 and I can pick up my prescription prior to that. Yay for taking two yucky little pills before a yucky appointment and feeling yucky all day. I'm definitely going to buy a sub after my teeth are clean so I can stop feeling sick. I used to feel sick enough after a dentist appointment alone with the toothpaste and fluoride and other random chemicals they use, plus the poking and prodding and bleeding from the gums. It's only worse when I have to take antibiotics beforehand!

Being a grouchy old woman at 19 can be such a bummer. Having a mother who sometimes seems just like a 17-year-old girl can also be a bummer, especially when the traits rear their ugly heads on the same day.

I'm going to go wash this all away in a nice hot shower so I can get rid of feeling disgusting! And I will be in a good mood! Ah, look at all these exclamation points already! Things are looking up!

I'm a goonie. An 80-year-old-in-a-pre-non-teen-body goonie.

Also, I have apparently made my decision on whether to keep DW all fic. The answer is apparently no. Given I'm a chatty-mouth and my mother reads my livejournal. ;)

I just wrote my first Erica Hahn/Cristina Yang drabble!fic.

I swear to scalpels that was way too much fun to write.

On from public sex to handcuffs, hmm?

Yup, I must be crazy.

There is a hymenoptera storm outside.

Swarm of wasps, winged creatures that so inspire fear zig-zagging every which way. Students scream to see them.

I had my windows closed. Mary walked in (door open, as usual) and touched my shoulder. Walked to my window and threw open my curtains, pointed and told me to look. I saw insects darting everywhere. She asked me, "Do you think those are wasps?" and I remembered the inch-long, thick wasp I saved Becky from yesterday, and nodded. She said, "Yes, I think they're wasps."

I stared and wondered when the birds would come to swipe them from the air. I heard Konstantine playing in the background, whispering memories of my best friend and the times we spent side by side into my head.

She said, "I'm going to go tell everyone to shut their windows," and I agreed. I closed my curtains and sat back down.

Every moment someone comes in to ask if I've seen the swarm. I say yes, I watched it. They don't seem to believe me and begin to walk to my window. I think 'I have already looked' but soon enough my curtains are open again by someone else's hands and pools of light lap at my sides. I squint my eyes and see fast forms, almost spectral, speeding past my window and into a storm of winged stings. Winged stings is all my friends see. Friends, content that I have properly seen, hurry out of my room without closing my curtains.

I walk to my window and stare at the insects. Smile sadly, although I don't know where the melancholy comes from. I say hello and goodbye, close the curtains and take my seat again.

The others pull open curtains to stare outside and scream. They say, "They're angry! So angry!" The curtains stay open, the screaming continues, people to windows all over the building.

Sometimes I wonder if humans aren't more like our idea of wasps than wasps are. Most of the time I think it doesn't matter very much.

I sit back in my curtain-closed, orange-coated room of colour and calm and peace. I listen to calls of "is the bathroom window open?!" and wonder why I don't have more of a response. I wonder where this inherent sense of peace stems from, why I cannot be stirred. I know that his will become one of the moments spoken about with a chuckle and the introduction of, "Do you remember when...?"

These moments add a surreal feel to my life. I don't wonder about existence, particularly, but I sit and smile with a seat of peace and contentedness that surprises me. Through missing and stress and swarms and opened windows, I feel peace.

Surreal. These are the moments I live for. The moments that feel as though somehow, despite everything, they're perfect and exactly where I need to be. When everything in my life feels connected and stuck in place, my unique star-shaped plug in the perfect star-shaped hole.

It's peace.

And suddenly, a song I looked to more on my friend's skin than on my iPod joins the rank of the most meaningful.

("Are you really taking a picture?" "Look, it's security!")

Ecology: 2/4.
Mammals: 2/3.

To do:
Mammals: 1/3
Chemistry: 2/2.
Ecology: 2/4.

Meerkats are really cool. And sooooo cute. They made my ovaries throb, it was ridiculous! :3

Tea-time soon but I want to get pretty far on this next lecture. Won't be as cute as meerkats but still good knowledge. Badgers. I love thinking of them personified--all good grumps and the lot.

I have actually left the door open today. Although in the end I twitter more with some second-floor girls, and just talk with Jujubean, Tinboy, and Mattmaths.

My solitude is loverly. I adore solitude. And my softly-lit room that is so cozy and comfy and peaceful. c:

This is joy!

Also, I was a terrible person today and wrote a sexual parody to a Sesame Street song. Exam revision drains my sanity, I swear! At least I got the whackiness out of my system before I work more on my Hermione Bang story tonight. 8k. Want to get to 10k tonight!

I finished the Mammals lecture about mating techniques and all.

Now I get to learn about sperm competition and the size of the male anatomy for "monogamous" and polygynous and polyandrous and polygynandrous males. Sexcellent.

I think I'm going to take a nap first. I'm zapped with it being my moontime and this shite being boring to copy down.

So much to do today, time, just stop for a minute!

Putting up just one entry so there's something on my page. Hate having empty online journals. (Opposite of physical ones!)

Revision of death. 2 lectures down out of a hopeful 9 for today. Hah, as if.

Chugga chugga chugga I am a revision traaaaiiiin, hop on, c'mon, you know you want to! <3

I'm in love with your ghost.